Jeff Henebury // Honorable Mention of WANTED 25

On February 1, Revolver launched its most ambitious WANTED contest to date. We asked writers to create a fictional character and apply to a real job. The job? A 3-month prompt-based SERIAL PROJECT on Revolver. The editors have now narrowed it to down 2 finalists: Susan Koefod & Vim Ødegård.
 
We want to thank Jeff for his efforts. He fought the good fight and we’ve enjoyed every new installment of Katie Ennis’ exploits. Good luck to Jeff and his admirable talents. Cheers!

 
 
Katie Ennis
 
What are your strengths? Weaknesses? Go into detail. 
 
Strengths! I am great at synthesizing raw data into actionable, business-oriented statistics. I am a team player who can also work independently as needed. I can stifle my screams of terror in all but the most unhealthy of office settings, and those settings have to be really, really bad before I’ll even whimper. I’m an excellent communicator. I could sprint faster than Susan, Kathleen, or Felicia proved capable of sprinting in that apparently-not-abandoned parking garage. I am a wizard in Quickbooks and Excel. I effectively manage execution in long-term projects. I consistently avoid execution in hostile work environments.
 
As far as weaknesses—I know it probably sounds like a cliché—but sometimes I think I’m guilty of caring too much. Like I might be TOO dedicated to my work, due I guess to a fear of failure, which makes me very very attentive to details, where I tend to get “bogged down”? And I’ll spend all my time triple-checking one particularly important slide in a PowerPoint presentation—because as everyone learned from Phil’s Double-Hatchet Incident last month, merely double-checking just doesn’t cut it!
 
And meanwhile, while I’m worrying over PowerPoint slide transitions, trying to decide between Star Wipe vs. Dissolve, all around me, everything I’ve ever cared about has vanished? Like the love of my life has almost definitely been chopped into little boyfriend pieces? And all of this I’m sure would take a mental toll, if I allowed myself to think about it for even a moment, but my business is not going to drive itself forward, and so I must press on?
 
Which is all a long way of saying: my weakness is your strength! Let me work for you. Let me flourish through your analytics as I lose myself in something greater, something profitable. Let me live.
 

 
 


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WANTED is an occasional community writing contest run by Revolver. We give a prompt and our readers respond. If you’d like to receive email alerts—and that’s all you’ll get, a short email—saying there’s a new one, sign up here:



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