Your insistence to dress in drag to Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar And Grill may not prove as contrary as you might wish. “Say there lil lady,” some fat honky will say, releasing equal parts stinky Old Spice and a kind of Mich Golden Lite mist all over your face. “Do you mean you’re dressed as a man,” he’ll ask, “or that you’re a man underneath all this finery?” Knowing that a lot of manliness is what one puts on—contriving to talk in a husky voice and stand in the horse stance as tae-kwan-do advises, plus boots, hat, oily carhartts, the que-necessito flinty look in your eye and yes, a beard—you’ll be somewhat hesitant to admit either way to this chunky goon. For isn’t gender not so much normative as it is, huh huh, performative? Never mind all that, for who’ll show up at the bar but country legend Toby Keith. “Goddammit,” he’ll yell, looking at you especial right in the eye parts, his jaws inching toward you like an alien’s mandible: “I love this bar and grill!”
# # #
WHAT YOUR WEEK HAS IN STORE is a weekly (-ish) horoscope by Forest Lewis. If you’d like to receive email alerts—and that’s all you’ll get, a short email—saying the new one’s up, sign up here:
Front page image by MrNews1320.