There’s a surrealist parlor game called “Exquisite Corpse”: each person writes a sentence only able to see the line immediately preceding it. In partnership with MN Original and NE Art Attack on November 8, 2014, Revolver’s created “A Moveable Corpse,” a Traveling Exquisite Corpse Detective Story Game, which uses two typewriter, two wheelbarrows, and a lot of paper. This is Result #2.
Detective Cud Wilson took the flask from the corpse’s back pocket, unscrewed it and toasted the dead. He passed it to his new partner, who rolled her eyes and bagged the evidence. “Christ, the things these artists do with paintbrushes,” he said.
They walked across the room to an old, unusual portrait of an old man. They could have sworn he blinked.
Then the portrait became alive! And the old man pulled out a knife.
Cheese, I must have cheese! I have my knife, but where is my cheese. I would kill from some cheese…
, said the self-hating cow. He always had an existential crisis on Tuesday.
Then he found chocolate and wine, and he knew the meaning of his life.
He had never been happier than he was as he reclined in his sunroom, drinking win and staring at the sunset. That was, at least, until he met Lauren.
Lauren was a kindred soul, and had helped him through many a tough spot.
But Lauren didn’t trust him so she packed his bags for him and said Larry off with ya. So, off Larry went sad and forlorn and hungry.
Standing on the street with nowhere to go, Larry decided enough was enough. He leapt into the street, in front of the cab.
Unaware of the dangers lurking among the local ice cream shop, Larry flicked off the cabby and walked in for the usual. A big fat grasshopper cream sundae. Delish.
And then the bottom dropped out. The clerk announced they were out of Creme de Menth. Larry seethed.
And then Carl served grasshoppers for everybody.
It wasn’t long before everybody began to jump and hop about. But not everybody was affected by grasshoppers.
There was one whom was affected quite differently.
He never knew what was up with Cecelia.
Why was she always so gloomy?
Could it be the horrific experience in her past that would not let her rest?
Or was it that a searing glow was attracting her to the next entry?
So many possibilities, but her eyes were stinging like crazy.
From the acid that was dripping from the ceiling.
Onto the molten lava floor.
The blue cheese and oysters fell. The bubbling champagne chilled
on the buffet table where the secret paintbrushes were stored below.
Cud opened the drawer, revealing a paint splattered revolver which he picked up and
knowing he held a dangerous weapon and suffering from a splitting headache, he took a pill, also in the drawer, which unfortunately turned out to be MDMA. The pistol was not safe in his deranged hands.
As colors blurred and his vision became more intense, his hands began to shake. His targets were many.
However, bacon was the cure… thanks to Ron Swanson.
Kids always go, but Swanson always prevails. With a shaky hand like Jesus, he made the meats multiply. hahahaha a ooh the meat, the glorious meats!
And thank goodness the meats multiplied since there were so many hungry people at the art show.
Their tummies rumbled and they really wanted some cheeseburgers from McDonald’s and they wanted some salty fries… and their kids wanted some kids meals…
Meanwhile, Detective Cud Wilson stumbled through the dark warehouse, clutching the corpse’s flask. What would he find on the loading dock?
Was it a ghost hovering over by the corner? Or a waft of smoke? Detective Cud felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck.
As he stared at the corner, the figure became more solid, darker and seemed to spread out toward him.
But then, just before touching, he gasped, turn and fled, shouting, My hair is red!
My heart is made of gold like sunny days and blue skies!
However that is not how I am feeling at the moment. My thoughts take a dark and twisted turn. As I enter the building, I feel a presence that will harvest my soul.
And that is how Detective Cud Wilson solved the case.