Do you know what a beard’s there for, do ye? My girl knew: she told me.  She said it was A SPIRITUAL ANTENNA.

If Bob Saget, whose got a disgusting mind, could think of something really terrible, it’s probably been done on an operatic stage in Germany.

By the way, I’m married and my husband sucks ass. And my best friends were all gay and he made me get rid of ’em. And I hate my life.

I’m just like, ‘No. You guys don’t know what it’s like to try to save the world. Actually.’

I shouldn’t be here. I’m watching my best friend and them die and I ain’t even from Minnesota.