On February 1, Revolver launched its most ambitious WANTED contest to date. We asked writers to create a fictional character and apply to a real job. The job? A 3-month prompt-based SERIAL PROJECT on Revolver. The editors have now narrowed it to down 3 semi-finalists. What follows are their characters’ answers to the second round of questions.
Have you met this character? You are welcome to provide a character reference in the comments below? This character’s fate may rest in your hands…
How would you describe your work style?
I work alone. I like good thick walls. There are times late at night, my naked and sweating body covered in the dust of dry wall, granite, hot filaments of steel and ceramic fibers, where I reach the ecstasy you only see on the faces of saints in the paintings of the Dutch masters. I don’t fuck around.
Have you ever had trouble with a boss/co-worker or customer? If so, please explain.
Sheila was trouble. Sheila is trouble. It makes my hands tremble, the thought of those pummeling orgasms she would deny me and deny me and deny me and then finally give me. I drank from those fucks like a deserter drinks from a pool of water after many kilometers of staggering, stumbling and crying out to God, Anything, Death, Mother. I took great pains to leave no traces leaving Sheila that evening. I ghosted. I believe memory has in some ways dulled the excruciating pleasure we shared in that pit of ours.
How do you propose to compensate for your lack of experience?
I’ve never had to compensate, ever. I can’t imagine starting now.
I’ve been practicing an obscure form of tantra for going on seven years, now. You know what I’ve come to know? Theft is the only human action. From the moment you steal your first breath until your last breath is stolen from you.
Have you ever drank a glass of black market Romani-Conti Grand Cru before? Have you even ever had to hold the blade of a knife between your teeth? Has a lover ever pressed your perineum at the moment of climax? You probably haven’t even held a high-powered politician in the cross hairs before deciding to defect? Forced an erection to seduce a dignitary’s wife? Drunk drove a speedboat?
I ask you: How do you propose to compensate for your lack of blood-lust when I gun for your job, huh?
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WANTED is an occasional community writing contest run by Revolver. We give a prompt and our readers respond. If you’d like to receive email alerts—and that’s all you’ll get, a short email—saying there’s a new one, sign up here: