The Black Hawk’ll hang like a pearl in the smoke over the desert scene. A famous newscaster indicates to you Iraqi war tourist sites. The country is once again, as Bono would say, falling into the arms of America. Or is it the arms of America that are falling into Iraq? (Gleaming hand-guns and deer-rifles drop from the sky into shadowy hands.) “I’m here because it’s important,” explains the anchorman. “It is important because it’s dangerous. It’s dangerous because I’m here.” The logic is sound. Still, one wonders how you’ll get from where you are right now reading this horoscope in, I assume, relative comfort, to that future helicopter in so little time? Well, to be fair, Iraq is not that far away. “According to superposition,” the anchorman’ll warn, “the black hawk will both be shot down by RPG and not shot down at the same time.” Small arms fire’ll caress the fuselage. Flowering grenade blasts’ll gently kiss the windows. Love is in the air once more.
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WHAT YOUR WEEK HAS IN STORE is a weekly (-ish) horoscope by Forest Lewis. If you’d like to receive email alerts—and that’s all you’ll get, a short email—saying the new one’s up, sign up here: