I will say we lived, and the police corroborate this story.
The skinny officer wrote everything down with a real short pencil, like he stole it from the Yahtzee box. Should’ve asked him for his number. Anyone that says 83 is too old to be getting numbers is just jealous that I still have my natural teeth. Needed ‘em too, to chew that rope.
By the time the boys in blue showed up, I’d already rescued myself and was halfway through untangling Alice. The way those mobsters tied those knots tells me they never had a good Home Ec class. Their banana bread probably never rises.
They didn’t really even need to tie us up; I don’t know where they think Alice and I would’ve gotten to after they left us out in the woods like that. Would’ve made it about half a mile back to the road and we would’ve been pooped. What they did need to do was take Alice’s Life Alert beacon, but they didn’t. We just pressed that puppy and the cavalry showed up like they were coming for supper.
Got into this whole mess in the first place when Alice saw one fellow shoot another fellow out behind the Joann Fabrics. I missed it, I had my glasses off, but they saw us. They made us get into the back seat of their car and peeled off faster than anyone’s ever gone in a Joann’s parking lot.
Alice was sure they were going to kill us, but the driver kept saying how much we smelled like his grandma. I probably should’ve been scared, but for just a moment, we were cruising along in a nice car with two big hunks and the windows down. We were really living.
GHOST WRITER is a forthcoming project from Tracy Danger Mumford. She won three WANTEDs so we asked her if she’d be game to do a Regulars project. Revolver provides biographical info of an unnamed historical figure in the form of prompt sentences and Tracy writes the rest in 300 word sections. It should be interesting. If you’d like to receive email alerts saying when it launches and when new ones come out, sign up here: