In an exciting switcheroo of context you’ll soon end up trapped at the top of a high tower in the Cardinal’s castle with Kiefer Sutherland. Below you can hear the Jesuit brotherhood scrambling up the stairs after you. The Jesuits hate heretics of all kinds. Heretic is from the Greek hairetikos ‘able to choose.’ What is it exactly you’ve been choosing lately? In any case the fuckers want to burn you at the stake. Kiefer, rapier and dagger drawn, is calling on you “for the love of the Holy Mother of God! to draw your weapon and prepare for en-guard!” Is there an ulterior meaning here? A latent sense? The door resounds and shivers. The Society of Jesus have brought with them a statue, for splintering through the door’ll come none other than the snarling marble head of Ignatius Loyola. “Come on you casuists!” Kiefer yells as the door bursts and what must be the ugliest Jesuits of all time struggle to breach the jamb. How will you get out of this one?

Front page image by jurvetson.

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